Everyone follows a path. There are as many paths as there are people. We all travel a path toward a goal, often the goal is not attainable, this makes it no less appealing nor any less a worthwhile journey. Indeed in the end it becomes the path and the act of traveling which is the worthier part. In the end finding the goal would cause the traveling to end. I have crafted my own path, one of honor and respect. one of hard work and study. I have, unbeknown to myself, begun traveling the path of zazen.

Unfortunately this path of honor has prevented me from taking chances that would have not caused me to bat an eye some years ago. In the end I hope that this path causes me to clean some of the tarnish from my soul and my belief in karma means that I hope it pays off in the end, but if not, at least I made the world a little better for others. I would say it has also caused me to “regret not doing things instead of regretting doing them” but regret, like gloating, is a waste of time. (15 points to the first one to get the quotes)

more to follow

So what the hell am I talking about? a few things, some of you may know all of them, but if you don’t well, too bad you don’t always get what you want. One of the things (but by no means the main thing) is work. Often there is an opportunity to take a job from someone and most people take it I will not do that. I may apply and if I am better suited then I’ll take it, if there is a healthy competition then I’ll go for that too, but if someone needs the job more than me, or I perceive they need it more than me I will hand it over.

This whole thing makes me think of proper game design. In my mind the mark of a great game is one that lends itself to being replayed. Take Half-Life 2 from Valve Software. I have played this game from beginning to end I don’t know how many times. Each time I get that crowbar I feel a chill and the sensation of portent and impending conquest. The same feeling you get when you hear “Ion Cannon Ready” or if you’re doing really well (or cheating) “ion cannon ready. Rift generator ready. Nuclear Missile ready.”

So what makes it so enjoyable? Certainly an engaging story, definitely villains that beg to be crowbar’d but also a sense of purpose! You’re not investigating some crime, or slaughtering evil doers (well you’re kind of doing both) but ultimately you are saving the world, you have the feeling of accomplishment. Remember when the citizen screamed “STRIDER!” and you felt that twinge of fear? Remember the frustration of ravenholm? Remember having single digit health, reduced to hurling saw blades because you were out of ammo afraid each shadow hid a zombie or a head crab? Remember climbing bloody and battered but ALIVE out of the tunnel only to face snipers? I do and it thrills me that I am just now in Ravenholm again. Because now I know where all the enemies are and I can come through with nearly full health and ample ammo and I can shout “Is that all you GOT!? COME ON!”

This is why I don’t like the more modern console FPSs. Gears of War jumps to mind. Visually stunning, technically advanced, with an original story line and a worthwhile score. The element that is lacking though? The I-just-got-out-of-a-fire-fight-i-need-health-and-ammo-OMG-I-hope-I-don’t-run-into-any more-bad-guys! feeling. Health should NOT regenerate of its own accord, I don’t want a friendly reminder that I have eliminated all the threats in the area, and if I get shot down in combat I want my buddy to either step over me, drag my body to safety to wait for a medic, or best of all to loot my body and shoot the bastard that got me. I don’t want my buddy to resurect me by walking next to me if we can do that why aren’t we invulnerable? Make sure you get to the end no matter what. The focus was the goal, not the path to it. See I was actually going someplace with that.

Be mindful of the goal and where you wish to end up, but do not concentrait on the ultimate achivment or you will miss the path. If you stare at the peak you may miss a turn and never end up there. Instead be mindful of the peak and what comes after, but never loose site of the moment.